The Love Day Series: Individuality > Conforming

That photo up there showcases just some of the shoes I own; didn’t feel like pulling them all out but I just wanted to give you guys a taste of what’s going on in my closet. As you can see, something is absent in there.


I actually purchased my first pair of booties [ankle-high boots] WITH a two-inch heel about two years ago…and have only worn them twice. I bought a pair of flat boots this past December though, and I rock those quite a bit. I usually “dress” my outfits up a little more when I break those babies out.

I bet you’re saying to yourself, “hussy, I could care less about your shoes so get to the point,” and to that I say…okay.

With all the Barbies and the Beyonces and the models out there, it’s getting harder and harder for us casual chicks to break ground with men who are easily distracted by the flash of skin they see from these…fine young women on a daily basis.

I’ll be the first one to say that heels are not my cup of tea; after a harrowing experience for my high school graduation I have not stared longingly in the direction of said shoe since. Mind you, I may give a pair an “well, that’s cute” every now and then but it’s usually followed up with “and if I wore heels, those would be great for me, but I don’t so they won’t”.

Last year [and much of the year before that], I was in a relationship where he wanted me to dress up SO badly because those were the types of girls he “usually” dated. He also used to date hot ass young girls who played on his phone and argued him down on a daily basis.

However, he never begged for the latter, he wanted me in a heel. It got to the point where I began to feel self-conscious, not that I wasn’t already because I’ve always had an issue with myself [not gonna go into that, though]. Here I thought I had this guy who was so interested in me for my strapping qualities like my cunning wit, my stellar intellect, and my hunger for success when all this nigga cared about was a damn shoe.

Priorities screwed much?

[I actually did wear my booties on a breakfast date with him once, and the nigga didn’t say shit! <_<]

My casual style is a part of MY personality; it’s always been who I am. My mom was, and still is, a tomboy and I didn’t have too many other female family members whom I was interested in enough to hang around them to learn about makeup or the right shoes to make my butt look great in jeans.

I don’t have an ass to begin with! No heel is gonna change that.

I’m not knocking the girly thing; I have a strange feeling that God is gonna…bless me [=] with a little princess who loves pink, ponies, and proms [shudders]. Somebody pass me the Yak, por favor.

I’m just saying that everyone’s style is their own. People need to stop putting this stigma on how a person’s wardrobe style defines them as a person. It’s only clothes! At the end of the day, when we’re stripped down to nothing but the same suit that we wore on our birthday [sorry, I’ve been listening to CB a lot lately], we’re individuals and the clothes and shoes don’t mean shit.

Stop putting such an emphasis on what number Jordans that guy is wearing and how it’ll determine if you’ll talk to him or not. And you, stop trying to force that girl to wear some damn stilettos!

They pinch her toes, and that’s damage that lasts a lot longer than a relationship based on the cause of said damage will.

In the words of the great Audioslave, be yourself. That’s all that you can do, and love will come because of it.

Stay COOL, folks.

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